Talking to Those who Disagree with You

Georgetown held the first open convening as part of the Georgetown Dialogue Initiative on Monday, September 23rd.

The event was organized around two political figures who are former governors of Tennessee. One, Bill Bredesen, is a Democrat, who worked in the pharmaceutical and health insurance sector, and served as governor from 2003 to 2011. The other, Phil Haslam, a Republican, who served as governor between 2011 and 2019, was the CEO of the Pilot Corporation and then an executive in a high-end retail clothing company.

The event began with the two ex-governors talking about immigration, an important issue facing the nation, on which the two have disagreements. Governor Bredesen emphasized the value of refreshment of a society by new members seeking to build a successful life in a new country. He noted that low fertility rates in the United States have led to an aging population, which has led to lower labor force participation and the need for new working age persons. He referred to the long history of America as a country of immigrants. Governor Haslam, in contrast, emphasized the importance of a nation-state to have borders that are respected. Countries have a right, he argued, to constrain the movement over those borders. Security of the US borders were important.

Of great interest was how the two engaged in the dialogue, noting when they agreed with the other – “I think I agree with you when you said…” but they also said, politely, when they didn’t agree – “I see that issue a little differently than you…”.

Professor Abby Marsh followed their dialogue with some questions. The three talked about the role of humility in dealing with others in a disagreeing conversation. One told the story of his early days entering an election in a very heterogeneous area. He said his advisor told him to visit small towns and rural areas. The advice was proffered because his background was quite different from that of those areas. So, he spent a lot of time visiting with residents of those areas. He learned to listen. He learned to ask others to describe what underlay their beliefs. Why did they hold opinions on a given issue? What were the underlying experiences that led them to that opinion? He learned that there were often real understandable reasons why they held beliefs very different than his. But he had to listen to them. The experience changed his perspective, teaching him the complexity of various issues, and that his original beliefs were too simple.

One governor said something like “I’ve never convinced anyone to change their views by arguing with them.” It was a telling observation of an ex-governor. He was saying that it was important to learn what matters to the other speaker. What do they care about? What are their preferences? Without knowing those, he was asserting, little real communication can occur.

It was quite clear that the two governors waited for the other to finish their conversational turn before that other began. Sometimes, the other then said something that acknowledged that they heard what the other said. There was a clear signal that the other was listening to what was said. There was no overspeaking, interrupting one another. My inference was that that trait served them well in dialogue across differences.

All agreed that the tone of the speakers makes a real difference. Both implied that the showing of respect to the viewpoint of the other was a necessary ingredient in dialogue across differences. It’s part of active listening. Someone mentioned that until you confront your own beliefs with arguments against them, you can’t be sure whether your beliefs have merit.

The two governors host a podcast called “You might be right.” It’s a saying of Howard Baker, a former senator from Tennessee, from 1967 to 1985, especially in describing the need to be open-minded to the possibility of new ways of thinking. The podcast is associated with the Baker school of Public Policy and Public Affairs at the University of Tennessee.

It was a great first event for the Georgetown Dialogues Initiative. The students in the audience were filled with questions and probed how the governors handled other contentious issues. It was a good learning experience for all of us.